See Her Massive Professional Rebirth From Intensivist To Coach – A PNC Classic from 2020

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Transcription PNC Podcast Episode 401

See Her Massive Professional Rebirth From Intensivist To Coach - A PNC Classic from 2020

- Interview with Dr. Jessie Benson

John: Dr. Jessie Benson, life coach, artist, and homesteader. Welcome to the PNC podcast.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Thank you, John.

John: This is going to be fun.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Yes. I'm very much looking forward to it. I've been excited all week.

John: You know, my audience just loves hearing stories about physicians who have successfully transitioned to whatever it is they transitioned to. So just to give a little preview for the listeners, we're going to hear about homesteading today, we're going to hear about art today, we're going to hear about coaching and some other things in between. So that's why I knew I had to get you here and really get into some of these topics.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Well, I'm very much looking forward to sharing my journey because it has been so much fun.

John: The other thing I like to share with people when I have guests on here is inspiration and hope. Just from what little I know about you, I get the feeling that you really enjoy what you're doing, you feel very balanced. You're doing different things, and to the extent that there were things in the past, maybe, that weren't so great ... which I don't know anything about, but it just sounds like you where you are now is fantastic. So we're definitely going to want to hear what led to your transition, because you are a physician. You're still a physician. Obviously, we're always physicians, but you're not doing medicine anymore and so this is going to be good.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Yes. I definitely love my life a lot more than what I call my medicine years, for sure.

John: Okay. Well then, without any further ado, then why don't you tell us about that? You were practicing for almost 10 years, and maybe just give us a little snapshot of what was going on and what prompted you to transition to what you're doing now.

Dr. Jessie Benson: So I practiced anesthesiology and critical care medicine. I was board certified in both and I did practice both, and I had been caught up in this cycle of chasing approval and achievement year after year, and my thing was A's. So chasing A's through grade school, high school, college, and so when the adults in my life said, "Go to medical school," seeking approval, I said, "Okay," and so I went full force. I was first in my med school class. I was best fellow at Cleveland Clinic, and eventually about 10 years ago, I realized that that life of approval and achievement was empty and I wasn't really enjoying it. I loved helping people, but the life ... I just knew it wasn't the life for me, and so I decided I wanted to have a different life and that's what I do now, and it wasn't just that easy. I had to overcome a couple of things. One of them was perfectionism and one of them was fear of rejection and failure. And so 10 years ago I was able to make a lot of progress in those areas and that's when my new journey began.

John: So I think we want to kind of get a kind of picture of how that looked. Some people ... I've had the occasional guests tell me, "Well, I just stopped doing what I was doing and just took six months off or a year off to figure it out." Others said, "I did a lot of soul searching and really a lot of research before I decided to leave medicine and I kind of tapered off and then converted and did something else and then something else, and now I'm where I am now." So kind of walk us through how you actually made that ... what were those kind of steps in between?

Dr. Jessie Benson: So mine was about a four year journey from ... from that moment 10 years ago, when I really decided to start having a good life, when I decided to start doing what I love, and that became art, that became music. I picked up playing cello. That became sprint triathlons. It became anything I wanted to do because I no longer only did things I thought I was going to "Get an A in." I actually started following my heart and doing things for fun, and so that was maybe 2011, '12, '13, '14. I became a professional artist. I was selling my art in galleries and at shows. I was playing cello professionally with a guitarist, and I just looked at my life in early 2014 and I said, "Medicine is keeping me from the things I love." I couldn't schedule concerts. I couldn't commit to shows because we had to pick our vacation a year in advance.

And the schedule wasn't good for me and neither was the mental and emotional drain on me, and so I paid off my $250,000 med school debt in March of '14, and so that was really the last string tying me to the career, because I knew I really needed to pay that debt off before I left to do something different, and I did, and then three months later, July 4th weekend in '14, I gave a six months notice to my practice and enrolled in life coach school because I had learned about it and realized, this is what I want to do. I want to work with people, helping them create lives that they love, and so I finished. My last night was December, 2014 in the ICU. I actually brought my cello and played for the nurses and the respiratory therapists and the patients. So it was a really wonderful last night of being on shift as a physician, and since then, I haven't looked back. People say, "Do you regret it?" Not many, no doctor, but other people will say, "Do you regret it?" And I say, "Absolutely not. I am truly living the life of my dreams and it gets better every day."

John: How did you get exposure to the life coaching? Where did that come up?

Dr. Jessie Benson: So I was reading an article when I was still full blown in medicine and it talked about what they do, and I realized, this is what I do for people. I listen to them. I inspire them. They come back six months later and say, "That thing you said that time in the locker room, I want you to know the difference it made in my life," and I realized that I could actually do that for living, not just in the locker room between cases. I could actually dedicate my full life to those moments with my clients, and so I researched schools and I picked one that was one of the original ones, and it was in Florida and then virtual, and I enrolled and actually started before I even finished medicine. I started in '14 while I was still practicing, my training.

John: All right. Yeah, one of the things I think several of us on the podcast have remarked on over the years is that one of the things about coaching is it kind of has all the good stuff that you do as a physician or a clinician and none of the bad stuff, the long call and the long hours and frequent call and what have you.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Absolutely, and I tell people, I get to help people, but I don't have to worry about life and death. Because as an anesthesiologist, responding to codes, responding to airway calls on the floor, taking care of patients in the ICU, that threat of death, even in a routine case, was ever present, and it weared on me, and now I get to help people feel better and I don't have to stress about that.

John: No, I think we forget that some ... I mean, I've talked to physicians that they don't even realize how stressed out they are because of those kinds of minute by minute decisions. Some are life and death, some it's just onerous, just paperwork that never ends and knowing that if you don't do it, it's going to be sitting there tomorrow and someone's going to be unhappy. I mean, all these things just are there and we kind of take it for granted, but if you step back and think about it, it can be quite painful and not even know it, and it's good that we realize it and decide how we're going to do something to change. Now some people can adapt and they love it. They love the intensity and they love the decision making like that, but I feel like most physicians, in 10 or 20 years, they're kind of worn out and need to do something else, but some of us learn that quicker than others, but we still need good physicians out there, don't get me wrong.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Please, don't all leave. But yes, for me, this is a more relaxed quality of life for sure.

John: And I think we're all entitled to that, and as I've said before, I mean I think all physicians are sort of part of one big family and we want each other to have great lives. So we're going to come back to the coaching later, but I want to talk about these other things that are interesting to me and I think to the listeners. So I want to hear about how you develop this whole interest in art, and maybe throw in your music, and then also this concept of homesteading. So you can go wherever you want with this.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Okay. Well I will go in chronological order.

John: Okay.

Dr. Jessie Benson: So art, I always enjoyed art and I always appreciated others' art, and even would support other artists by buying their work, but when I was still in that perfectionistic, A seeking mode, I just was unwilling to try. I wasn't willing to try anything, even if I thought it would be fun, because I was afraid I would fail, and I didn't feel like I could endure what I considered failure. So when that lifted, about 10 years ago, I just went and tried every art that I could. I tried charcoal and watercolor and oil paint and acrylic and sculpture and clay, and I loved all of them. And then one day I was at an art show and saw an artist who made her paintings out of beeswax, and I said, "What is this surface?"

And she said, "It's encaustic, it's beeswax," and so I went and bought everything. This is still while I was a physician in practice, and set up a place in my house for my home studio and just started creating. I bought two books and I did everything in those two books, and nothing looked like I wanted it to look. I wanted fine detail, and so the idea came to me for the technique that I do now, which is an original technique, and this is where I melt these wax and paint it on a board, and then with a very fine tool, I carved intricate nature drawing. So bird's nests or birds or trees, and then it's still just the wax, that light colored wax, and then I oil paint my lines and then the drawing comes to life and then seal it. And so in '13, that inspiration came to me and that's what I've been making and selling since.

John: Yeah. So, and we're talking about the art now. You have a website specifically for your art, is that correct?

Dr. Jessie Benson: Yes. It's my name, Jessie Benson Fine Art. So jessiebensonfineart.com, and I'm actually having a show ... I have occasional shows. You can kind of check back in and see virtual shows that I have yet, but I do a lot of commissions, actually, which are custom pieces. Someone might have me make one to honor a sister's wedding or the passing of a loved one. So a lot of my work is custom.

John: How do people find out about that? I mean, how do you develop clients in that particular part of your ongoing career?

Dr. Jessie Benson: Yes. So a major part that people find out about me is I was doing shows across the Eastern US, like Florida all the way up to Pennsylvania, and weekend shows that you might see in your own town, where artists set up booths for the weekend, and I gained a lot of exposure that way. And I still have people who will email me years later and say, "I saw you at this show. Will you make me a piece?" Or, "What do you have right now that you're selling?" And so that's a main way, and then I'm in galleries, and so folks will go into galleries, they'll see my work and they may not see something that they want there, or even if they do, then they'll get my contact info and email me for a custom piece.

John: All right. Well, somebody might track you down just for your advice on how to expand their art exposure.

Dr. Jessie Benson: I absolutely will help, because there are definitely tips, for sure.

John: All right. Well, I'll put the link to that website in the show notes. We have some others to talk about. So to go from there, chronologically then, the other things.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Yes. So then the next thing was cello. It was really just music in general, but especially cello, which is the instrument that I've actually trained on. Again, loved music my whole life, but unwilling to try. The story of my life up until 10 years ago, and then I was at a music festival with my friend and she saw her friend playing cello and I said, "Oh gosh, can I try your cello?" And he said, "Sure," and as soon as I touched that instrument, I knew that I would do cello. Everything in me said, "You are going to play cello," and so I went right away ... I was still a physician then, practicing. I went and rented a cello from the local string shop, and within six weeks I had already found a teacher, was dedicated and decided to buy my own cello, which is a substantial investment, and went with my cello teacher, picked it out. My cello's name is Grace, and just love playing cello. I've played at shows and I play on my own and house concerts. So cello's a big part of my life only because I was willing to try.

John: Now do you have people you that you tend to play with or do things with other than your own ... you said, I think maybe before we started the episode, the interview here about maybe doing something with a guitarist or something else?

Dr. Jessie Benson: When I was in Raleigh, which is where I lived, I knew a lot of people who would play music, and I would duet with any instrument that would be willing to duet with me. So I have played duets with trombone, with banjo, a female banjo player that was a vocalist, with guitar, with piano. I was basically in this place of anybody, let's play together. Yes, so definitely I duet with people, and then also just play at home for myself.

John: Yeah. We definitely need to practice for sure, but it's fun to ... it's just playing. I play the guitar poorly, but playing is just fun. It's just something you just want to do and could probably spend hours, depending on your mood and all that.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Absolutely. I love to play outside when it's raining. When I'm covered to play during the rain, just it's a beautiful. It's a wonderful experience to share, playing music.

John: Well, I do talk about sometimes doing the bluegrass thing on my guitar. Now, guitar players and bluegrass are a dime a dozen. So what I always encourage people ... Anyone in the Chicago area that plays banjo that's listening to the podcast, get in touch with me because I could really use someone like a banjo player or a mandolin player or a fiddle player for that, any of the above.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Banjo is such a wonderful instrument to duet with, for sure.

John: Yeah. That's great. Okay, so we're going down this path. So you're getting into the cello after starting your art. You're doing both of those things and he thought, "Well, I don't have enough things to be interested in," so what's the next thing?

Dr. Jessie Benson: So I fell in love with both of those things, art and music before my last night that I described in 2014, and then in '15, I got my yoga teacher training, meditation teacher training, life coach training and certification, and then when all that was finished in late '15, I went on an eight month trip around the US in an RV, hiking many state and national parks, and at the end of that, after looking at many different communities, wondering if this is where I want to spend the rest of my current life, and I decided I wanted to settle in a little place I'd heard about called Floyd, Virginia, and I went to college at Radford University, which is in Virginia, and Floyd had this reputation for being the sweet little arts and music town. I never visited, but it stuck in my mind, because 20 years later I pulled that 40 foot RV up into a nearby town and went and explored Floyd and said, "Okay, this is where I want to live."

And so three weeks later made an offer on property and two weeks later owned it, and that's when my homesteading journey began, and what homesteading essentially means ... and I actually call myself a hybrid homesteader, but what homesteading means is to essentially try to do as much as you can for yourself. So it's this idea of reliance, and so what that looks like in my version of homesteading is the biggest project has been designing and helping build my house, and so when I got this land, it was basically land and a pond and a well, and now it's my dream home, my art studio, and still the pond, which is beautiful, with a half built dock, which is not finished yet, because that's what homestead life is, just a series of projects in different states of completion, and all of that took work. So just from designing my house on a piece of paper with a pencil, to getting the building permit, to meeting with the engineer to confirm the framing plan.

I had to learn building code. I had to learn so many things, and my cousin is a builder and he led the way and I helped with so much of it, and that's what homesteading is. So that's the house, and then for me, it's also growing my own food. I try to grow as much of my food as I can, and then I do things like bake all my own bread, make my own pizza crust, which is my personal favorite, and then just tend the land. Need cut down, trees need cut off around the edge of the pond. Just land takes constant maintenance, and homesteading is doing that maintenance as much as I can myself, and it's fun.

John: Okay. That's awesome. Now this is what happens typically, because I'm an introvert and when thinking about questions as you're talking, I have to go back, and my guests hate this when I do it, but you had gotten really involved in yoga, the coaching and meditation certifications, I think and those things, then you went on the RV trip. So was the RV trip mainly to look around geographically? How much of the planning for what you were going to do occurred ... well I'm assuming it did during that process as well. You were kind of figuring out how to put those things together?

Dr. Jessie Benson: Yes. So the main reason ... although in the back of my mind, I was thinking, "Well, I might find a neat community," because I did downsize my belongings when I left and I did put my house on the market. So what I knew was I'm not going to live in Raleigh anymore and that was it. I'm going to be a life coach. I'm going to keep doing art and music. I'm not going to live in Raleigh, and then it was blank slate from that point on, and so as I traveled those eight months, it was mostly just to have fun. I had been in this regimented, constricted environment, as much as any employee ship is, and I just wanted to be free. I just wanted to see the country. I just wanted to feel what it felt like to hike a new place every two or three days, to wake up and see new scenery. I just really wanted that, and so, yes, I was considering a community, but more, I just wanted to have fun and have an adventure.

John: Now, one of the things that some of the physicians on the podcast talk about is this feeling, kind of this pressure they get from their families or friends or people like, "Well, what are you talking about?" Was there any kind of pushback on that when you explained to whoever, your cousin, the builder, whoever, "Hey, I'm just going in my RV for six to eight months."

Dr. Jessie Benson: No, the people in my life, I'm very fortunate that they have this philosophy, if you're happy, I'm happy, and in fact, of everybody .... and I told, of course, everybody in the hospital, and I was there for six months, because I wanted to give them plenty of time to replace my specialty, and of everybody who over those six months knew I was leaving, everyone was just happy for me. There was only one physician who asked, "Well, really what are you going to do?" But everyone else was just happy for me, and I think too, a part of it was ... and more than one said, "I wish I could do it," and I would say, "You can," but it was total support, thankfully.

John: That's good. That helps. That helps. You're not fighting those battles of trying to explain yourself to people that don't understand. So let's see. I think I want to now hear more about the coaching, because I'm sure that has evolved over this period of time from where you started, and so how did you ... because I think for some physicians, this is really an attractive career, coaching. It's got all the good things about being a physician, as we said earlier. So yeah, how did you start coaching? What kind of coaching and how has that evolved over time?

Dr. Jessie Benson: So I chose a school that had a very comprehensive approach, as opposed to say executive coaching. I wanted a really comprehensive approach to coaching and to be able to meet a lot of different needs for a lot of people, and so that was the training I received, and then when I first started having clients, post training, post certification, that was what I did. I just would coach different people. I'd coached physicians. I would coach people from other professions. I would coach men. I would coach women. I'd coach them about their jobs, about their relationships, just really getting a feel for who I wanted to work with and what was most enjoyable to me, and when I first was coaching, it was very project management oriented. Let's figure out what you want to do, let's figure out the steps to get there, and let's do them, and that still has tremendous value. Of course, if we want to get somewhere, we need to know where we're trying to get and how to get there.

But since my practice first started several years ago, it has become much more elegant. I focus a lot more on beliefs, what I call barrier beliefs, the obstacles for why we don't do things, our fears, because we ... just like you said, people might want to leave medicine, but their family might be giving them a hard time. So focusing on those things and focusing on the action steps, but always making sure that the beliefs are in order before the action takes place. Yeah, and it's been pretty much one to one coaching, so private coaching, and then I've done some retreats and workshops where I incorporate my coaching with my yoga teacher, with my meditation teaching, and then what I'm doing now is something I'm super excited about, and it's a year long program for women and it's called Brave is Beautiful Circle, and it's a program where I help women find their authenticity and their creativity by doing what I call helping them find their brave, and it is the culmination of everything that we've been talking about since we've been on this interview. I incorporate my own personal experience of leaving medicine, I incorporate art challenges, I incorporate other types of creativity challenges, mindset challenges, one-to-one coaching, group coaching. So it's everything I love about coaching in one year long program.

John: Very nice. It's a good spot to put the websites in here. So you do have jessiebenson.com, which probably points to the app, but then you also have braveisbeautifulcircle.com, which is specifically for this year long process of coaching and learning.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Yes. Yeah, www.braveisbeatifulcircle.com is where folks can just learn about the program. If they want to just learn about me and coaching in general, the jessiebenson.com, but as you mentioned, there is a link to the circle on jessiebenson.com.

John: Okay. So I'm going to get back to that in a minute, but I have to go backwards, as usual. At the beginning of your coaching ... this is a question I get a lot, and everyone goes through a training and they're certified and now they're kind of feeling like they're ready. They have to get clients. So I guess a couple of questions. One is, were you doing sort of some free coaching? Is that part of the process of learning to be a coach? And let's say at that very early stage, how did you get the word out? Where did you go to find clients?

Dr. Jessie Benson: So the answer to your first question about whether doing free, yes. During training, especially the program that I did, there is a lot of free coaching so that I can learn how to do it. I actually had to have, with my clients' permission, my calls recorded and then we would play them for our fellow students and our instructor. We would critique each other in a kind way, and so, yes, I did lots of free coaching. Then once I had my training and certification, then I took paid clients and it was all word of mouth, because I was in this large hospital and everyone knew what I was leaving to do. Some people would say, "Well, when you start coaching, I want you to coach me." I'd say, "Okay, I'll let you know when." So I had this kind of running list, because I did make it known this is what I'm going to do, and I didn't do that to get clients. I did it because people wanted to know what my journey was going to look like and I shared it, and so from the get go I had this pool of word of mouth client, and then word of mouth led to more word of mouth. So I actually didn't do any marketing my whole coaching practice up until now, when I'll start sharing about my circle, because that's a larger group of people, but it's just been word of mouth.

John: Now, the coaching that you started doing and have been doing for the last few years before the annual type of program or the year long program, what does that look like? How often do people usually get coached? What are they trying to get coaching for? How long does their coaching relationship usually last? It's kind of interesting to hear about those type of thing.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Yes, and so for all of my clients, no matter what they're coming to me for, I do a little free 30 minute thing to make sure that it sounds like what they want is something I can help them with, and then how I offer coaching as something that they want. So once we do that initial, then I do a two hour ... well, one to two hour, just depends ... life review session, and this is where we go through the nine fears of someone's life. So finances, work, relationships, rep, all those areas, and I have them rate their fulfillment on a scale of one to 10. So I get a snapshot and so today of what their life fulfillment in every area of life in this moment, and then we go from there.

And so right now I'm working with someone who's writing a book, and so we went right to career and contribution, because I already knew that person came to me ... she already came to me because she's writing a book and she wanted to support during that journey, and so we launched off from there, but we could just as easily have launched off from relationships or from self-care, like physical body care or mental care. And so from there, from that life review session, that's where the coaching happens, and then I meet with almost all of my clients 30 minutes every week, and I have one that we meet 30 minutes one time a month, but everybody else is 30 minutes a week, and then you asked how long is the relationship? It just depends. And so I have one person I've been working with for three years now. That person's been through career changes, from being employed, to being a consultant, to a relationship, to a new state, all sorts of wonderful life changes.

Another person I worked with a few weeks ago, her friend gifted her three sessions and she was having writer's block. Another author, separate author. I got a couple of authors at the same time, and we did those three sessions and we found out the root of her writer's block. She felt so lifted in this burden that she didn't even see, because that's what the help of the coach is. When we're in our own thing, we cannot see it, the idea of fish feel water, and when another set of eyes comes in, it's like, "Isn't this thing bothersome?" "Oh, that thing. Well, gosh, I hadn't even thought of that." So we did that in those three sessions and she had a really good result. So it really just depends.

John: Okay. Cool. All right. Well, I want to spend the last few minutes talking about the Brave Is Beautiful Circle. So, I mean I looked at the site and kind of the description and so forth. Now, have you been doing a version of this already? Or I this a brand new thing? Why don't you tell us a little bit about that.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Yes. This is my coaching dream come true. So I sat down, when I started thinking about once my house was finished ... because I've been working on this house for four years with my cousin and it is finally finished, finished. I had this wellspring of time. I thought what do I want to spend it on? And I thought, I want to finally do my coaching circle I've been dreaming about. So this is a brand new program. I'm going to start enrolling people now, and I am centering it toward women, and especially female physicians, because that's a group I understand. I am a female physician. I've lived the life of a female physician. I understand the unique challenges, and so that's the focus of the group, and it'll start in the fall. If someone signs up, they'll start getting one to one with me, but the group coaching will start later in the fall, all the different kinds of group sessions I mentioned to you. So that is brand new and I could not be more excited. I was thinking, when I sat down to design it, I thought what would I have wanted 10 years ago when I was trying to break free from perfectionism, from fear of failure, from fear of rejection? And this is it. And so that's the program I designed.

John: Okay. So this is actually a good time. So we're kind of ramping up to the group sessions. Right now you're starting with the solo, the individual. So yeah, we'll definitely put the link in there and let people know about it. What else do they need to know? You said particularly women, especially physicians, just dealing with, like you said, the perfectionism, maybe the unhappiness, the disenchantment or whatever it might be.

Dr. Jessie Benson: So the main two things that someone will get from this program is connecting with their authenticity and their creativity. So, things like learning how to say no, setting boundaries, excellent self-care, getting over that concept of giving for everyone else and leaving nothing left for oneself. So all of that authenticity work, and then the other half of it is creativity. So whatever that means in the woman's life, if it's music, art, cooking, but to start tapping into that living life with this sense of adventure, the sense of creative expression.

John: Very good. All right. Well we're just about out of time. So this has been really inspirational. We can't necessarily learn in 30 minutes how to become an artist, a cellist, a homesteader, a coach, but I think it's giving people hope that you could be ... I mean, you were in an intense career. I mean, intensivist, anesthesiologist in the CCU or ICU, and here you are 10 years later and very pleased and have tried a lot of different things, and so I think that's very inspirational, and so listeners, if you feel like you're trapped, there's no need to be remained trapped. you can move on, and it doesn't mean you have to leave medicine either. We're not saying that. We're just saying that we should be more intentional about what we're doing and we should be able to find a life that brings us joy and balance and fulfillment.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Absolutely. There is absolute hope in having a balanced life, whether you choose to stay in medicine or not, because leaving medicine is not for everybody, but I absolutely feel like someone can stay in medicine and still enjoy life.

John: Very good. Well with that, I do want to remind everyone to maybe go to jessiebenson.com. That's one place where you can at least see the coaching. I think maybe ... do you even talk about the art there, or you point them even to the art?

Dr. Jessie Benson: I don't think I do, John.

John: Well, we know the jessiebensonfineart.com is a place, but there'll be links in the show notes. So I just want people to understand that they have options and maybe follow a path similar to what you've done. So I'm really happy that you were able to come on the podcast today, Jessie.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Thank you so much for having me. I've loved it.

John: I can't imagine where you're going to be 10 years from now. The arc had been so steep here, I don't know.

Dr. Jessie Benson: I don't know either, but I am excited to find out.

John: All right. Well then we'll have to touch base again and find out where you are down the road.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Yeah, episode 500.

John: Yeah, oh my gosh. I better be retired by then, I don't know. All right, Jessie. Well, with that, I'm going to say thanks again, and we'll be in touch sometime in the future, but I'll just say goodbye at this point.

Dr. Jessie Benson: Thank you. Bye.

John: Bye bye.

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